Winners, Losers and Links

So much winning you’ll get tired of it

Winners

Trump - The most amazing career arc. A Grover Cleveland split two terms, an FDR like three peat and all after the craziest legal attacks since the mugshot. Outspent by a wide margin. Does not matter.

J.D. Vance - Was a fantastic asset for the Trump campaign. No one can forget the debate performance that turned the tide as his A10 blues got the ladies fired up.

Amerikaners - Should be some relief coming.

Scott Presler - He delivered with all his GOTV and registration work in PA. Many doubted him and that his work could replicate.

Elon Musk - He bought Twitter and won an election with it. Powerful shift in messaging from him. Risked it all.

Lara Trump - She was not lying about a strong election legal and monitoring team. They jumped on everything. Still need to know what happened in Milwaukee with the 100% turnout precincts.

Captive Dreamer - His Springfield Ohio X posting changed the discussion in the election.

Prediction Markets - They were much better than polling firms despite their newness.

Losers

Kamala Harris - Put in a tough spot. Really tough to step in and win. She also sucked at the job of public speaking politician.

Tim Walz - Slinks back to Minnesota. America’s goofy dad can flap his wrists all he wants back home. If Gretchen Whitmer is the nominee in ‘28, she cannot pick a running mate named Tim.

Pollsters - Some did well but by now America realizes they make up numbers to fit a sales pitch that the Democrats want. Ann Selzer whiffed by 16% in Iowa, but did anyone have Florida or New Jersey where they ended up?

Ann Selzer - Just retire bitch.

Swann Marcus - Baby faced slug was in meltdown mode by 9pm Tuesday.

Pedro Gonzalez - Did he self-deport? The worst Desantoid.

Will Stancil - Get in the crystal you lesbian lookalike.

No links as we want to collect a big batch of election finger pointing for next week and put this behind us. Instead a story…

Man wakes up from a twenty year coma. Nurses alert doctors. His family arrives. Tears of joy! Grandchildren he has never seen. He eats. He tries to walk but is too weak. They catch him up on life and society. TV in the background blares an alert that the election is next week.

“I loved politics. What the hell is this year’s election like?”

Family stares in silence at each other. Grandson scratches his hair and says, “Gramps, you uh went to sleep in 2004, so lemme put it to you in those terms. The Democrats are parading around Dick Cheney’s daughter in swing states while hoping Dubya endorses their ticket. The host of Fear Factor is interviewing the star of The Apprentice about his chances to win the presidency vs. Montel Williams’ girlfriend.”

“How in God’s name do I make a decision after that?”

Grandson smirks and doesn’t miss a beat, “Gramps, it’s Philly, you voted last week.”